Finding Pieces

If God whispered in my ear
Would I listen enough to hear
What he asked me to please do,
Would you know if He whispered to you?

But what if it's you that's talking?
That inner whisper that has no chance of stopping
Telling you what you want to think
Would God let you swim or sink?

Crazy obsessive
These thoughts never cease
Losing my mind
Tell me if you find a piece.

Done Before You

I want something new
Bright and shiny
Untouched by clever hands
With sticky fingers


I want something no one has
One of a kind,
Original,
Not thought of before


But it's easier to say then do
When everything has been done before you
What clever creators make
Nothing more then silly ideas in an idle mind


Foresee the impossible
Everything created must be destroyed
Like little toy soldiers
In a war pig's world
Spinning around
Until the plastic breaks

RestLess

This dull longing
I'm aching
Heaving and shaking
To be still

To feel
To put my feet down
This endless entrapment
Amend this attraction


Passing and sighing
Denying a place to stop
Disarray but not heartless
How did I start this?

Pause from a moment
Then yearning to move
I'm restless here
How about you?

A Title For My Rant and a Cookie For My Effort

I want everything I can't have. If I get it then I don't want it anymore, because whats the fun in that? Thoughts can't have pretty little perfect thought patterns that fit into a quota that you have to fill for the day. They come and they go, like mistakes that leave you blushing.
Don't you hate it when you remember something that happened to you years and years ago but still to this day you blush when you think about it. I try to tell myself that there is no point in worrying over things you can't change but it doesn't stop the feeling. Then there's those times when something sticks out in your memory so bad, almost scaring you for life or something but the other person involved doesn't remember a damn thing. But you can't complain because it happens to you all the time.
I feel like I forget things way to easily. Someone told me that there's a chemical in Shampoo that makes you forget stuff at an unnatural rate, but I'm not sure. I only seem to forget the things that pop into my head and I think I don't have to write them down but really I do because I can never remember them later. Then you have to retrace your steps to see if you can think about the same thing you were before so as to jog your memory.
Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. Like life, or trying new things. I hate trying new things because I'm always so damn afraid of messing up. Of being the only one who doesn't understand what's going on. So I never to first but I don't mind going second, then once i see how easy it is/was I wish that I had gone first.
But there I go again, wishing for things that I can't have or won't do.
And thinking about things that I can't change.
Maybe that's a pessimistic way of looking at things, but unless I get a body swap machine or a time machine I don't think I'll be doing things any differently soon.

I'm tempted to delete this because I think I'll read it later and be like "what the hell?" but who cares. If I can't do whatever I want on a page that no one I go to school with or who sees me on a regular bases reads, then when can I do what I want. And what's the point of being your own person if all you do is worry about how other people perceive you?

Sticky Situations

Twisted up inside
You put your best foot first
With your Sunday finest on
But this taking and making of love
Just takes to long

Make a misstep
Tripping when you take a step
Can't fake it
So I choose not to walk
Wishing that I could

But it's a tightrope
Wrapped around my neck
Choking me to be my best
When my luck runs out
I'll be the one to blame

Put these empty wishes to rest
Can't complain about failing
If I won't take the test
The fear isn't running out
Just sinking in

Food For Thought

I really wish blogger.com would let you know when someone commented on your blog and then be awesome enough to tell you which post it was.

Is it ever really to early for a Mikes Hard Lemonade?

Why is it that things have to be so hard sometimes?  Especially things that your supposed  to be good at.

Sometimes I wish that you didn’t have to sleep so that you would have enough time to do all of the stupid homework like things as well as the fun stuff and not have to be a cranky, sleepy monster the next day.

Ever watch a movie or a tv show and wish that your life was that fantastically insane?  I don’t want all of the drama, but the food fights and party’s where no one gets hurt but everyone has a good time sound like fun.

Sometimes I feel like all of my romance novel reading gave me a very unrealistic view of love that I wish I could take back because I am wayyy to picky when it comes to guys.  But then I find another novel that I just cannot wait to read and forget all about what it’s doing to my nonexistent love life.

Magazines are great.  I love making fun of all of the ugly clothes that they can’t truly expect anyone to wear.

Ever wonder if you’re dyslexic but don’t feel like taking any kind of test, especially if you don’t test positive and then you just look like a dumbass.

I think I have an obsession with buying jeans.  Every time I go shopping for clothes I buy at least one pair even though I’ve probably got about twenty at home.  Never mind that I only wear half of what I have because I don’t think some of them look right on me.

I love organizing my stuff, mostly just because I love stuff.  Movies, books, cd’s, clothes.  Is that weird or normal?

Ever wonder if you’re OCD or if it’s just that everyone around you is OCD and it makes you feel like you should be too.

Every once in a while I spend the entire day in bed and then I feel bad about it, like lying there and doing nothing is going to make me fat or something.  Stupid media.

Sometimes I wonder if “fat” will ever replace “skinny” in the What’s Cool Today column.

I hate when I hear that guys don’t give a fig about make up that girls wear because the only real reason girls wear it is to catch guys…and to hide blemishes, but that’s a different story.

ADMISSION FOR THE DAY?  I don’t have a clue.  about anything.  and it’s great.

Become Us

Death does not become us
It isn't pretty
Or kind
Not loving
Yet occasionally blind

It mocks us
With age
A sleeping sickness
The war we wage

Death is not ours
Not to handle
Or to contain
A stranger to life
It leaves nothing the same

Death is what makes man equal
The same fate
On a different date
No one can escape
Death does not become us

*a sad side note, just so know one thinks I'm emo or anything I wrote this after my grandmother died.

KRISPY SCREAM

So for a fundraiser for my class, harmony, we sold krispy kreme doughnuts and they arrived at the school yesterday.  I got to skip some of my afternoon classes (whoo) so that I could deliver doughnuts to my buyers.  Today when I saw some of them they felt the need to tell me what good doughnuts they got. 

Well thanks, Butch, it was my own special recipe.

I mean, what else do you say to that?  They’re freaking krispy kreme, of course they were fantastic!

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I was going to put a scary youtube video right here but I couldn’t find one that scared me, and I’m very easily scared so that says a lot.  If you come across anything give me the link so I can be scared silly:) whooo for October!

Also I’m writing a scary story for my class and if I like it enough I might just post it.

Falling For Fall

I love fall.  It’s so pretty.  It’s the time when you get to whip out all of your cute jackets and sweaters and scarves.  Oh and then the crisp air is just fantastic!  You take a deep breath and you think, “damn I glad I don’t live in outer space.”  Oxygen is goooood.  Then the leaves start changing and i just want to pee my pants because it’s so gorgeous.  I don’t understand how people can not like fall.  I can understand why it might not be your favorite season, but come on.  And my admittance for today?  I actually enjoy living in bumfuck nowhere with all the trees at this time of year:)

Birthday’s! Aren’t they great?

So whoo! today is my birthday and what a great one it’s been.  I have to admit though, that i don’t get all that excited about my birthday anymore.  I kept wondering when did birthday’s get so…unexciting?  It’s like yeah, okay, presents, lots of people who only talk to me on this day, and gifts that I don’t like but have to write thank you notes to the senders for anyways.  Most. fun. ever.

But, like I said, this one has been pretty good.  Not get a car with a red bow on it and a stud muffin boyfriend good, but good nonetheless.  In fact this “goodness” revolves around a certain item….AND I’M ON IT RIGHT NOW.  A labtop!!!!!!! yahoooo! haha

I’ve wanted one for forever and here it is, sitting in my lap and getting me on my blog.  It’s fantastic.  In fact, i suggest one for everybody.  It might greatly improve upon your health.