I swear that this is more then just ramblings, the first two chapters are just kinda for character development, so you get to know them and blah, blah, blah.
But I promise that it gets better. Atleast... I think it does...
-------------------
The ride there was the most fun I’d had in a really long time. Kali and I laughed and talked until our voices cracked and our stomachs hurt. I felt bad because she had to pay for everything, but I made sure to tell her that I had every intention of repaying her. It was painfully clear that Kali had done a great deal better with her life than I had with mine. She had her own restaurant that was really packing in the money and had gotten great reviews. She’s even been in the paper multiple times. She also had, to my dismay, a new fiance. I knew that she was seeing a guy but I had no idea that he’d proposed to her. I was a little upset because I wanted to be the first one to know.
“Remember when we said that I would marry Ryan and you would marry Jake?” I asked her, a playful tone in my voice. “We said that we would do a double wedding and everything.”
It was a painful topic for the both of us. Ryan was like my personal demon that liked to haunt me at my most happy moments and Jake was the epitome of everything that Kali had wanted and couldn’t have. The second I said it I wished I hadn’t.
“Yeah, I remember,” she said. She looked over at me and put her hand on my shoulder, “hey, don’t beat yourself up about it, Laney. We’re older now and moving on to better things, better guys. They’re the past and they’re going to stay there. Okay?”
I smiled in agreement and she returned her eyes to the road. I still wish I hadn’t brought it up, but it was nice to know that Kali was done with her demons. Now if only I could battle mine…
"There it is!" Kali said with pride tingeing her voice as we pulled up to her house. She was talking about her restaurant. It had an old school theme to it and was a turquoise blue color on the outside. It had a big sign that said Kali’s Diner on it in the very front of the parking lot. I was so excited for her and the amount of hard work she had put into it and the success she had gotten back. Her house was conveniently right across the street from it. It, however, didn’t look old school at all. It had normal white siding and a normal little front yard and was so average that I almost couldn’t believe is was here in Vegas.
“Do you like it?” Kali asked as she turned to me, begging for my approval.
“It’s absolutely amazing. Thank you so much Kali, I owe you forever for all of this.” I gave her another hug. I couldn’t wait to start working again, even if it was for a friend. Kali was doing so much for me and I just didn’t know exactly how I could show her how grateful I was for it all.
“See! I knew you’d be happy that I dragged your sorry ass down here.”
I rolled my eyes, even though she was right, and got out of the car and grabbed two boxes of stuff, following Kali into her house. I couldn’t help but wonder if the inside was as normal as the out. Kali had always been majorly earthy, but what did I know? People change, I know I have.
---
“Laney, this is Michael. Michael, this is Laney,” Kali said introducing me to her fiancé. He was tall and skinny with dirty blonde hair and a sideways smile. He also had brown eyes that looked like they might be able to change color. He held himself with confidence and while he shook my hand and said a polite hello I had the feeling he was looking down on me. He obviously thought me beneath him.
I smiled and was polite right back; I understood Kali was my very last option. But that didn’t mean that I had to like her fiancé.
He took one of my boxes and followed behind Kali and I to my new room. I got a good look at the pictures on the walls and saw lots of photography. I remembered that’s what she used to want to be. It put a smile on my face to know that she hadn’t stopped what she loved doing as so many other people I knew had.
We reached a dark brown door and we all set down my stuff right in front of it.
“Here you are,” Kali said, grinning from ear to ear. “I know you’ll love it!”
I laughed at how excited she was, “I know I will to Kali, don’t worry.” I opened the door and was to tired to notice what it looked like, but I pretended to care for Kali’s sake. “Wow, it’s beautiful! Oh my god Kali, thank you, thank you, thank you!” She smiled and knew I was tired and that I could give her a read thanks in the morning.
“haha, you get some sleep girl. Work starts tomorrow,” she said and gave me a wink. She waved goodbye and I waved back at her and Michael. Don’t think I was to tired to notice he hadn’t said a word. I shut the door and got ready for the best sleep I’d had in months.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Story - chapter one
so as I said in my first post I'd like to start posting chapters to a story of mine that I'm writing on here. It started out as a fan-fiction (based on ryan ross) but I thought that was kind of silly so I changed it up.
This story is about a girl named Laney and how she is trying to create a new life for herself in an old place after just losing her job and apartment on an attempt to leave home. Her best friend Kali takes her in, and while she is back in Vegas she see's her first love. As you would have it fate throws them together again, but Ryan, her love, has changed a lot since she's last seen him. Fame and the land of the fake people has made him a demanding jerk who doesn't know how to appreciate what he has. So while Laney is still trying to figure herself out she decides to take on a mission she might not be able to handle: Ryan.
If no one likes it I'll stop posting chapters, if they do, chapter's will come more rapidly:) So if you like it, be sure to let me know & yell at me if I start to slack off on posting.
-----------------
"Laney, you can not give your parents the satisfaction of you coming home!" Kali screamed into my ear. I want you to know that first of all, I am not deaf; my friend just likes to fly off the handle. Second of all, she is absolutely and completely right. My parents would get sick pleasure if I came home and admitted that I should’ve listened to them and that, yes, moving away was a very bad idea. But that doesn’t mean that I’m to proud to do it. They were right, moving was a bad idea. All it has brought is trouble, trouble, trouble and I didn’t want to sick around to see what the hell was going to be next in my life here.
I sighed, "You don't get it. I just lost my job and my only form of transportation is walking. As in I'm to poor to ride the bus! And, hello, woke up to an eviction notice. Number three might I add." I shook my head, thinking of how sad my poor little life had become. I’m not really sure exactly who or what really convinced me to move here, the middle of nowhere in a shabby apartment (more like hotel.) It was like I just woke up one day and said to myself, “hey! I know what would make my life that much worse.” I’ll admit I was being a tiny bit over-dramatic, but put your self in my situation. You wouldn’t be a happy camper either, let me tell you.
"I've said it once and I'll say it again, you can come live with me! And don't worry about paying rent; you can work it off at the diner. I swear, just don't go back to your parents,” she told me with excitement in the edge of her voice.
Kali had been asking me to live with her ever since she found out what kind of place I was staying in. And I knew why she didn't want me to go back to the parentals. My mom is what someone might call a “marriage nazi.” All she can think about is me giving her grandchildren and getting married before I get old and gray. I suppose she felt like her life was a failure when she married my dad, but if you ask me she has her priorities messed up. I should be the one trying to get married, not her. She should be looking at retirement homes for me to put her happy ass in. My father is a completely different story. I think that if my mom and I let him he would just sit in his comfy chair and drool all day. Kali knew that one more trip to them would break me.
"I don't know, Kali. It's just-"
"Pack your stuff, I'll be there to get you on Wednesday, and I won't take no for an answer. You're coming back to Vegas," she told me with conviction. Before I could even get in half a syllable she hung up the phone. Kali was taking charge, and I couldn’t help but be grateful.
Vegas, the place I grew up in, I had been threw hell and back there, and then some. It was basically a shiny insane asylum with to many people and to much money… I couldn’t wait to go back.
I turned to the people in the store who had kindly let me use their phone. I gave them a quick “thank you” and a smile, and then turned to leave. A mouthwatering aroma hit me like a tidal wave and I gave a yearning look at some hot-looking melty doughnuts. Then I remembered the only thing in my pockets was lint. There was more sighing, this time longingly, as I exited the store.
Walking the streets at night was never the smartest idea but how else was I supposed to get around? I looked down at the cracked sidewalk that led to my oh-so-lovely apartment. There was random trash and odd (sometimes gross) things thrown all over the place, you’d never guess what kind of stuff people are always losing. I swiftly walked up to my door and got out my key. Then I noticed it. Just in case I hadn’t seen the neon green letter taped to my door this morning, there was another one. EVICTION NOTICE was written in huge letters across the paper. It was like they wanted everyone who had the misfortune to walk by to notice it. Almost seemed a bit…ignorant. But then again, I was the one who didn’t pay the rent; I guess after a few months of that they were allowed to get ignorant.
I walked inside the shabby crap hole and did a flying leap onto the bed. It wasn’t the sturdiest piece of equipment, but it was better than nothing. I lied on my back and looked up at the water stains on the ceiling. They were all different kinds of shapes and sometimes made me feel like I was at a psychologist’s office looking at inkblots. I rolled back over onto my stomach and closed my eyes, completely exhausted from the day’s adventures. I suppose the upside to not having a job anymore is that I could have all day to pack and get rid of anything I didn’t want anymore. Oh the fun.
--
Not having much to choose from I did the best I could in the outfit department. I wanted to look like I wasn’t doing as bad as I sounded when Kali finally got here. I had just put on my shoes when my stomach growled. I growled back, you know you’re in the bad when you literally have no food. I looked at the four boxes of stuff I now owned and the empty apartment around me. I had taken care of those damn eviction notices this morning thank god. I told Nick, my landlord, that I’d be sending him a check in the mail and that I would not be around anymore for him to harass. It was, for the most part, a sweet moment of victory for me.
There was knocking at my door and I jumped up from my sitting position on the floor. My heart started pounding and my hands started shaking. I hadn’t seen Kali in such a long time, what if she was completely different from how she used to be. What if we got on each others nerves? My mind started coming up with 100 million different scenarios. Then the door opened and a head popped in.
Kali stepped into the apartment and opened her arms with a squeal. She had a huge smile on her face that practically blinded me. I ran over to her and we jumped into a hug.
“Kali! I’m so happy to see you!” I told her. We left the hug and stepped back to take a good look at each other. She was still taller than me and had her natural red hair stick strait, just hitting her shoulders. She had a crap load of makeup on that 5 years ago she wouldn’t be caught dead in and an outfit that probably cost about 90 dollars more than mine.
"It's been so long since I've seen you girl," Kali said, breaking the silence.
“Yeah, I know.” I felt bad about it, too. I had hardly kept contact with her since I moved away from my parents. I couldn’t wait to catch up with her and see what all I’d missed.
We loaded up all of my things into her cute little car and then we hit the road. I didn’t feel any remorse for the place that had been my private prison for the past six months. I was ready for a new start in an old place.
This story is about a girl named Laney and how she is trying to create a new life for herself in an old place after just losing her job and apartment on an attempt to leave home. Her best friend Kali takes her in, and while she is back in Vegas she see's her first love. As you would have it fate throws them together again, but Ryan, her love, has changed a lot since she's last seen him. Fame and the land of the fake people has made him a demanding jerk who doesn't know how to appreciate what he has. So while Laney is still trying to figure herself out she decides to take on a mission she might not be able to handle: Ryan.
If no one likes it I'll stop posting chapters, if they do, chapter's will come more rapidly:) So if you like it, be sure to let me know & yell at me if I start to slack off on posting.
-----------------
"Laney, you can not give your parents the satisfaction of you coming home!" Kali screamed into my ear. I want you to know that first of all, I am not deaf; my friend just likes to fly off the handle. Second of all, she is absolutely and completely right. My parents would get sick pleasure if I came home and admitted that I should’ve listened to them and that, yes, moving away was a very bad idea. But that doesn’t mean that I’m to proud to do it. They were right, moving was a bad idea. All it has brought is trouble, trouble, trouble and I didn’t want to sick around to see what the hell was going to be next in my life here.
I sighed, "You don't get it. I just lost my job and my only form of transportation is walking. As in I'm to poor to ride the bus! And, hello, woke up to an eviction notice. Number three might I add." I shook my head, thinking of how sad my poor little life had become. I’m not really sure exactly who or what really convinced me to move here, the middle of nowhere in a shabby apartment (more like hotel.) It was like I just woke up one day and said to myself, “hey! I know what would make my life that much worse.” I’ll admit I was being a tiny bit over-dramatic, but put your self in my situation. You wouldn’t be a happy camper either, let me tell you.
"I've said it once and I'll say it again, you can come live with me! And don't worry about paying rent; you can work it off at the diner. I swear, just don't go back to your parents,” she told me with excitement in the edge of her voice.
Kali had been asking me to live with her ever since she found out what kind of place I was staying in. And I knew why she didn't want me to go back to the parentals. My mom is what someone might call a “marriage nazi.” All she can think about is me giving her grandchildren and getting married before I get old and gray. I suppose she felt like her life was a failure when she married my dad, but if you ask me she has her priorities messed up. I should be the one trying to get married, not her. She should be looking at retirement homes for me to put her happy ass in. My father is a completely different story. I think that if my mom and I let him he would just sit in his comfy chair and drool all day. Kali knew that one more trip to them would break me.
"I don't know, Kali. It's just-"
"Pack your stuff, I'll be there to get you on Wednesday, and I won't take no for an answer. You're coming back to Vegas," she told me with conviction. Before I could even get in half a syllable she hung up the phone. Kali was taking charge, and I couldn’t help but be grateful.
Vegas, the place I grew up in, I had been threw hell and back there, and then some. It was basically a shiny insane asylum with to many people and to much money… I couldn’t wait to go back.
I turned to the people in the store who had kindly let me use their phone. I gave them a quick “thank you” and a smile, and then turned to leave. A mouthwatering aroma hit me like a tidal wave and I gave a yearning look at some hot-looking melty doughnuts. Then I remembered the only thing in my pockets was lint. There was more sighing, this time longingly, as I exited the store.
Walking the streets at night was never the smartest idea but how else was I supposed to get around? I looked down at the cracked sidewalk that led to my oh-so-lovely apartment. There was random trash and odd (sometimes gross) things thrown all over the place, you’d never guess what kind of stuff people are always losing. I swiftly walked up to my door and got out my key. Then I noticed it. Just in case I hadn’t seen the neon green letter taped to my door this morning, there was another one. EVICTION NOTICE was written in huge letters across the paper. It was like they wanted everyone who had the misfortune to walk by to notice it. Almost seemed a bit…ignorant. But then again, I was the one who didn’t pay the rent; I guess after a few months of that they were allowed to get ignorant.
I walked inside the shabby crap hole and did a flying leap onto the bed. It wasn’t the sturdiest piece of equipment, but it was better than nothing. I lied on my back and looked up at the water stains on the ceiling. They were all different kinds of shapes and sometimes made me feel like I was at a psychologist’s office looking at inkblots. I rolled back over onto my stomach and closed my eyes, completely exhausted from the day’s adventures. I suppose the upside to not having a job anymore is that I could have all day to pack and get rid of anything I didn’t want anymore. Oh the fun.
--
Not having much to choose from I did the best I could in the outfit department. I wanted to look like I wasn’t doing as bad as I sounded when Kali finally got here. I had just put on my shoes when my stomach growled. I growled back, you know you’re in the bad when you literally have no food. I looked at the four boxes of stuff I now owned and the empty apartment around me. I had taken care of those damn eviction notices this morning thank god. I told Nick, my landlord, that I’d be sending him a check in the mail and that I would not be around anymore for him to harass. It was, for the most part, a sweet moment of victory for me.
There was knocking at my door and I jumped up from my sitting position on the floor. My heart started pounding and my hands started shaking. I hadn’t seen Kali in such a long time, what if she was completely different from how she used to be. What if we got on each others nerves? My mind started coming up with 100 million different scenarios. Then the door opened and a head popped in.
Kali stepped into the apartment and opened her arms with a squeal. She had a huge smile on her face that practically blinded me. I ran over to her and we jumped into a hug.
“Kali! I’m so happy to see you!” I told her. We left the hug and stepped back to take a good look at each other. She was still taller than me and had her natural red hair stick strait, just hitting her shoulders. She had a crap load of makeup on that 5 years ago she wouldn’t be caught dead in and an outfit that probably cost about 90 dollars more than mine.
"It's been so long since I've seen you girl," Kali said, breaking the silence.
“Yeah, I know.” I felt bad about it, too. I had hardly kept contact with her since I moved away from my parents. I couldn’t wait to catch up with her and see what all I’d missed.
We loaded up all of my things into her cute little car and then we hit the road. I didn’t feel any remorse for the place that had been my private prison for the past six months. I was ready for a new start in an old place.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Stuck (wish you were here)
So I'm one of those sorry bastards who got stuck in the 25in. of snowfall recently. I live in the middle of bum fuck nowhere and have been officially snowed in with my parents for six days. six days!!! I haven't been to school in forever, and while I normally wouldn't complain...we no longer have a spring break. *sadness*
I've also run out of movies to watch and am now posting a (semi) pointless blog on here to make myself feel better, like I have a purpose in life or some such nonsense. We have run out of cat food, kitty litter, almost out of dog food, and my parents have finally used up their supply of cigarettes.
It's getting pretty grim.
After about fifteen 6:30 in the morning phone calls (the rule at our house is no calls until after 12:00) we have finally gotten some poor loser to plow our driveway so that we can at least dream about leaving the house.
The cherry on top is that today is my dad's birthday and he is in the worst, worst, worst mood ever thanks to no ciggies. I can only thank the lord that he found a hidden one before he blew off everyone's faces.
In case you were wondering (which I highly doubt you were, but I'll share this tidbit anyways) I made my dad a burnt cd of songs for his b-day. He has this thing where he only likes one or two songs off any cd, so I put all of his favorites together.
Wouldn't you know it, none of the cd players in the whole freaking house like burnt cd's! What is that crap? It's bordering on psychotic what lengths the government have gone to in order to protect copyrighting. People can't make homemade cd's anymore?! Total. horse. poop.
&&scroll all the way down to the bottom of the page to see a video of my dog in the snow. It's hilarious, and it'll give you an idea about just how much snow I'm talking about. :)
I've also run out of movies to watch and am now posting a (semi) pointless blog on here to make myself feel better, like I have a purpose in life or some such nonsense. We have run out of cat food, kitty litter, almost out of dog food, and my parents have finally used up their supply of cigarettes.
It's getting pretty grim.
After about fifteen 6:30 in the morning phone calls (the rule at our house is no calls until after 12:00) we have finally gotten some poor loser to plow our driveway so that we can at least dream about leaving the house.
The cherry on top is that today is my dad's birthday and he is in the worst, worst, worst mood ever thanks to no ciggies. I can only thank the lord that he found a hidden one before he blew off everyone's faces.
In case you were wondering (which I highly doubt you were, but I'll share this tidbit anyways) I made my dad a burnt cd of songs for his b-day. He has this thing where he only likes one or two songs off any cd, so I put all of his favorites together.
Wouldn't you know it, none of the cd players in the whole freaking house like burnt cd's! What is that crap? It's bordering on psychotic what lengths the government have gone to in order to protect copyrighting. People can't make homemade cd's anymore?! Total. horse. poop.
&&scroll all the way down to the bottom of the page to see a video of my dog in the snow. It's hilarious, and it'll give you an idea about just how much snow I'm talking about. :)
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Open Mind Much?
One thing that really tick's me off is when people go into something without an open mind. My dad is one of those people, and let me tell you, once his mind is set that something is going to suck, that's how it stays. I can argue with him until I'm blue in the face but will he try something new? Hell no. And if I can actually manage this wondrous feat of new-ness, he'd rather keel over dead then admit I'm right and that this different thing is actually good.
And he does this for the stupidest things. For example, I somehow got my parents to sit in front of the television to watch the movie "Get Smart". I had seen it before and thought it was really funny and cute and was hoping they would feel the same. But oh no, my dad had already made up his mind that this was another "lame-ass remake" and he wouldn't give it the time of day. He kept walking out of the room to get things so that he couldn't even get into the movie if he wanted to! In short, he was acting like a child who didn't get the toy he wanted for Christmas.
Why? Why are people like this? I would venture to say that this is the reason our economy is so messed up, people are scared of change and/or have already decided that anything different would suck...more... So is it just to much to ask that people give new stuff a try? I know it's a stretch from a movie to the economy, but it's just the point. If anything that small is so out of reach then imagine the big things! This is why we are all so stuck in this rut. Get out there, and try something new for a change. You might like it;)
And he does this for the stupidest things. For example, I somehow got my parents to sit in front of the television to watch the movie "Get Smart". I had seen it before and thought it was really funny and cute and was hoping they would feel the same. But oh no, my dad had already made up his mind that this was another "lame-ass remake" and he wouldn't give it the time of day. He kept walking out of the room to get things so that he couldn't even get into the movie if he wanted to! In short, he was acting like a child who didn't get the toy he wanted for Christmas.
Why? Why are people like this? I would venture to say that this is the reason our economy is so messed up, people are scared of change and/or have already decided that anything different would suck...more... So is it just to much to ask that people give new stuff a try? I know it's a stretch from a movie to the economy, but it's just the point. If anything that small is so out of reach then imagine the big things! This is why we are all so stuck in this rut. Get out there, and try something new for a change. You might like it;)
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Your Mistake
I'm running
Let my lungs fill with blood
Slit a smile from my throat
Bind me with your words
And watch me choke
I'll listen
But I can't hear a thing
A wounded escape
And a tightly bound timing
About to take shape
With fear
I'll sit here still with shock
And see what you cannot
A trip timing shot
From a shaking hand
I'm stronger
Break my hand on your face
A bad idea was your mistake
The sweetest thing you'll never taste
-------------------
so this poem is pretty dark, but hey, I suppose when I write I'm just my alter-ego or something. I was in a bad mood the day I wrote this, in case you couldn't already tell, but I like the angst that pours out of it's words. I'd love to know what everyone else thinks too:)
Let my lungs fill with blood
Slit a smile from my throat
Bind me with your words
And watch me choke
I'll listen
But I can't hear a thing
A wounded escape
And a tightly bound timing
About to take shape
With fear
I'll sit here still with shock
And see what you cannot
A trip timing shot
From a shaking hand
I'm stronger
Break my hand on your face
A bad idea was your mistake
The sweetest thing you'll never taste
-------------------
so this poem is pretty dark, but hey, I suppose when I write I'm just my alter-ego or something. I was in a bad mood the day I wrote this, in case you couldn't already tell, but I like the angst that pours out of it's words. I'd love to know what everyone else thinks too:)
Friday, February 5, 2010
So here it is...
my first blog!
I'm going to be completely honest and let you know, I have no idea just what I want to blog about, which is just one reason why I named it what I did. Although I do hope it won't really be a catastrophe.
I'm planning on putting up random rants that I think up throughout my day, a few my million poems, and maybe even some chapters from my story that I'm currently writing. I might also end up putting up book and movie review's just for the fun of it. But whatever it is that I post, I hope that people will read it and enjoy.
I love to write and express myself, though sometimes it doesn't always come out the way I want it to. I would love feedback, good or bad, on all of the things I put up on here.
So keep your eyes open, because this won't be the last you hear of me. I completely plan to keep up with this blog, and if I start to slack off, don't be afraid to yell at me and tell me to get my butt moving.
much love**
-an aspiring new blogger
I'm going to be completely honest and let you know, I have no idea just what I want to blog about, which is just one reason why I named it what I did. Although I do hope it won't really be a catastrophe.
I'm planning on putting up random rants that I think up throughout my day, a few my million poems, and maybe even some chapters from my story that I'm currently writing. I might also end up putting up book and movie review's just for the fun of it. But whatever it is that I post, I hope that people will read it and enjoy.
I love to write and express myself, though sometimes it doesn't always come out the way I want it to. I would love feedback, good or bad, on all of the things I put up on here.
So keep your eyes open, because this won't be the last you hear of me. I completely plan to keep up with this blog, and if I start to slack off, don't be afraid to yell at me and tell me to get my butt moving.
much love**
-an aspiring new blogger
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