The Best Bullshitter On This Side Of The East Coast

Well, I promised a boyfriend story, but now gentle viewers I think I have to break that promise.  When I first started seeing *Rick I was in a state of disbelief and confusion.  How had this situation come about?  What was I going to do about it?  Will this panic go away?
Well the panic has faded and a love haze has once again clouded my eyes.  Fuck doesn't even cover the "oh shit" feeling I have about that.

So I don't even want to talk about how it all came out.  I mean, long story short I met him at a bonfire, he was interested in me (I didn't think much of it), he perused me for a few weeks, we kissed, I stopped being a bitch.
Now he does things like dive an hour out of his way to come and see me, he won't let me pay for anything, and the sex is fantastic, and let's be honest, I deserved some great sex after the great fiasco of the Oreo Ice Pack.  He says things like, "you know you're a 10 dating a 6, right?" and he never stops complimenting me.
I legitimately don't know what to do with shit like that.  Ignore me, I'm up for the challenge.  Be mean to me, I can take it.  But be nice to me?  I just give him confused looks all the time.  The ability to graciously accept compliments isn't something I know how to do.  In fact, any suggestions will damn well be welcome.

Now I can't tell if I'm dating the best bullshitter on this side of the East Coast, or if this guy is genuine and safe to believe.  I had no idea my faith in men had fallen so far off the radar, yet here I am, blithely nodding my head to whatever he says while saying "bullshitbullshitbullshit" in my head.  I don't have time to fall down the rabbit hole this time, I need to keep my head on.
Then I have the part that says if this guy is being real right now, I'm missing out on some really great memories and kind words.  Who knows when I'll find someone who treats me like this again?

This is just what my head has been spending all of it's free time thinking about, thought I would share it with the world.  I'm sure more exciting things have happened, but you know me.  A guy walks into my life and I drop everything else like it's about to infect me with Ebola.  Good times.

A picture of our cuteness because a sick part of me just can't resist.

If I have a question, you have a problem.

When a boy ends a relationship with a girl, the girl wants to know why, and she wants to know more than why. How could he do that? Why did she deserve it? What did she do? How can she fix it? Why wont you talk to her? Why are you acting like a jerk? What else could she have given you? Did you cheat? Are you lying?

But the truth of the matter is, what are we going to do with this information once we get it? Asking these questions is really just a way of dragging out the inevitable post-break up silence. We hope that if we force our presence upon these guys that they will see what they're missing.
But deep down we know that we're really just being a hot mess and that he does not want any of this.

I can openly admit that while I'm writing this I'm thinking of some way to text my now "ex" boyfriend and pester him into telling me why he broke up with me even though I don't know why I should even bother. I know it's pointless. I know I won't like the answer he gives me, no matter what that answer is.

Admittably, every situation is different. For example, in my case he didn't cheat on me (that I know about), but he didn't nicely break up with me either. The whole adventure has been him being mean to me for no reason. I've yet to understand why (and that, of course, is one of my many questions).
Some girls are good at moving on and simply thinking "well, I guess he just doesn't like me anymore."
But as we established in my last post, I'm bat shit crazy.
Because I'm a very pretty, (usually) nice, funny, fun, crazy (the good kind as well), easy going, up for anything type of girl. I strongly believe that if I've given a guy everything I have then he should damn well be content. And if he's not? Well then we have a mother 'effin problem. I will not rest until I know what I've done to upset you so much that you feel the need to completely disengage in conversation with me. You don't "want to be friends" or "f*ck buddies" you completely want to cut off contact.
I'm to cool for that!

So I'm on a mission to understand this, and it will undoubtably end in me hysterically crying and drinking night time cold medicine to fall asleep.
Oh, the joys of being a female.

Sticky Situations

Twisted up inside
You put your best foot first
With your Sunday finest on
But this taking and making of love
Just takes to long

Make a misstep
Tripping when you take a step
Can't fake it
So I choose not to walk
Wishing that I could

But it's a tightrope
Wrapped around my neck
Choking me to be my best
When my luck runs out
I'll be the one to blame

Put these empty wishes to rest
Can't complain about failing
If I won't take the test
The fear isn't running out
Just sinking in

understand my madness

Okay so I have this little problem of whining and complaining about not liking anyone, or not having them like me, but then when it happens I just drop them once the going gets tough. Once things get the least bit complicated I dust my hands off with them! It's like they're worth the time to complain about, but not to deal with. Needless to say I'm not yet sure how I"m going to get a guy to understand my madness when even I don't understand it!

To top off my fight or flight tendencies I have the experience of a nun and the flirting abilities to go with it. My friends (nicely, if there is such a thing) make fun of me for it, but it truly is a problem for me. I'm not sure how I can get in this 'flit practice' and not risk my insane fear of being rejected. I'm not ugly or anything, but I have this issue with picking the worst guys for myself. The ones that like me, but like other girls more, making me feel like I'm never good enough and always being the one rejected in the end. This is why I have less flirting skills then my grandma.
And would you like to know how my oh-so-wonderful friends suggest I get a guy to like me and such?

Suggestion's

1) Flash him (because that would make a great first impression)
2) Just make out with him (because I have such talent in that area)
and my favorite,
3) If he doesn't like you I'll just kick him (the perfect recipe for instant love)

Surprisingly enough, none of those are helpful. Haha, and even if I did somehow magically get a guy to like me (because this has happened before) I end up not liking him anymore. For some reasons I only the the ones that don't like me.
Life's funny that way I suppose.

so if you understand my madness and would like to give me any suggestions, I'd love to hear em.