follow up

Ooh, I knew it. I knew I was going to do it. Things have gotten a tiny bit complicated (it's mostly my fault) and I'm truly, honestly ready to just run away from it all. Why is it that you can never have a guy without some sort of drama happening? Every time I like a guy this happens, and it reminds me why I stay single.
And okay, like I said this whole ordeal is mostly my fault and my body image issues. But I can't sit there while you say you like me (but don't show it) and then flirt and talk to other girls more then me. I'm sorry if it makes me feel like shit even though there isn't really anything wrong with it. It's how I operate. It's how girls who don't have high self-esteem operate.
So don't just sit there and think I'm a damn mind reader, if you like me, tell me, if you don't, stop leading me on.
Thank you.

understand my madness

Okay so I have this little problem of whining and complaining about not liking anyone, or not having them like me, but then when it happens I just drop them once the going gets tough. Once things get the least bit complicated I dust my hands off with them! It's like they're worth the time to complain about, but not to deal with. Needless to say I'm not yet sure how I"m going to get a guy to understand my madness when even I don't understand it!

To top off my fight or flight tendencies I have the experience of a nun and the flirting abilities to go with it. My friends (nicely, if there is such a thing) make fun of me for it, but it truly is a problem for me. I'm not sure how I can get in this 'flit practice' and not risk my insane fear of being rejected. I'm not ugly or anything, but I have this issue with picking the worst guys for myself. The ones that like me, but like other girls more, making me feel like I'm never good enough and always being the one rejected in the end. This is why I have less flirting skills then my grandma.
And would you like to know how my oh-so-wonderful friends suggest I get a guy to like me and such?

Suggestion's

1) Flash him (because that would make a great first impression)
2) Just make out with him (because I have such talent in that area)
and my favorite,
3) If he doesn't like you I'll just kick him (the perfect recipe for instant love)

Surprisingly enough, none of those are helpful. Haha, and even if I did somehow magically get a guy to like me (because this has happened before) I end up not liking him anymore. For some reasons I only the the ones that don't like me.
Life's funny that way I suppose.

so if you understand my madness and would like to give me any suggestions, I'd love to hear em.