Exsisting Tonight

I'll talk to you tonight
And you'll stir my rampant fears
I may look just a child
But I'm wise beyond my years

You'll tell me secrets tonight
What you know no one else knows
And I'll keep your secrets tonight
Absorbing your all time lows

I'll dream about you tonight
Of what you are
What you could be
Realizing what you mean to me

I'll toss and turn tonight
As I'm fighting with your demons
But it's still a step back
Because I'm only dreaming

But it's not about me tonight
You, and you alone
Battling for the right
To live in your own home

There is a meaning tonight,
A "simple" lesson to be learned
Don't get close to fire
Because everyone gets burned

I'll shed some tears tonight
Because I know the demons winning
But I'll smile in the morning
Because it means a new beginning.

Happy Heart Ripping

I hate getting that feeling when you get rid of something or delete something and then right after it's gone you want it back. You get that same feeling when you say something you wish you hadn't and after it's out you realize you don't have the ability to grab words and shove them back into your mouth.
Life's just kind of funny that way I guess.
But, hey, I did make a resolution of non-resolution in which I decided to love all of the stupid, f'ed up things I will inevitably do over the year. I'm going to take a wild guess and figure that means accepting bad word choices and "oops" after certain situations..
But other than my incoherent mumblings about needing to put your foot in your mouth I should really get to a point in this blog.
Except I don't think I have one.
(Do I ever?)

Today is just one of those days where you feel the need to vent out all of your feelings, but you feelings are kinda stupid so you just make do with talking about off the wall random things (which is what I'm doing right now in case you haven't noticed).

Ever just want to rip your heart out before anyone else can get the chance? You know, to save everyone else the trouble? I think it would be the worlds biggest time saver, and that way the blame can totally just be on you and you can wallow in self-pity! Pretty clever, eh?
Now how does one go about ripping out their own heart?
This feels like a Google moment.

Happy heart ripping<3

RaWr

Up, down, up, down, you spin my head in circles please put my feet back on the ground. This is why I don't trust, why I shake to the core when I talk about feelings. crushed to many times before you, every time before you. An emotional wreck of confusion, lust, and hatred. How I wish I never liked you.
I want to help, good intentions will be be death of a girl. Creeping around isn't for me, second best isn't for me. All or nothing, everything or not a single thing at all. Only I can't, the attachment, the promise. The weight on my shoulders.
I'd like it better if I could read minds, could know what you really thought or felt. But considering that's imposable I'm not going to hold my breath. Thanks for wasted hopes and happy moments. For making me smile when I felt like life was a waste of time, is it possible that you're not as bad for me as everyone seems to think?
I doubt it.
And you should too.