Halloweenie

I really feel like Halloween has been dragged out this year for me.  I've gone to a haunted house, then to Scare Fest at Kings Dominion (which included 3 more haunted houses), and a Halloween party last weekend.  AND IT'S ONLY JUST NOW HALLOWEEN.
I just don't normally do so much, haha.
So I thought I'd post some pictures from last weekend so you could see my costume, a super hero.  I was going to try for The Black Widow, but that failed epically, so I got a cape and a mask and this is what happened.  I'm not much for sexy, but I do think Halloween gives the opportunity  to look hot and a little weird, without any judgement.  Although next year I think I want to try the scary side of things.... :)

Power Ranger, Me, Burlesque, and...you know, "normal."

My Zombie Killer

Wolverene's ginger cousin

The Addiction is Real

On a happier and more rewarding (see what I did there?) note, I thought I'd share some of my next tattoo ideas with you.  The first one I'm getting for my friend that passed away a few months ago, Rachel.  My friend Brittany and I are getting it together, although I think her font will be different.
I'm going to get it on my left side, the bird kind of flying away from me, and the words wrapping around my boob.  I'm getting the words in french because English is boring (not really), and because she was going to take French this upcoming semester.  We talked about traveling there together, and I just thought it was fitting.

I only want the bird on the bottom.

This means, "I miss you" in French

Celtic moon & Hindu sun

This I drew up, and it represents a personal yin and yang to me.  Not that I wanted to, but that's why I couldn't just use any generic sun and moon art.  It kind of represents the religious struggle I face every day, and I've always felt that I had two sides.  The heavy side that wants to work and succeed and the free side that wants to run barefoot around the world and not give a damn about any consequences.

Happy Heart Ripping

I hate getting that feeling when you get rid of something or delete something and then right after it's gone you want it back. You get that same feeling when you say something you wish you hadn't and after it's out you realize you don't have the ability to grab words and shove them back into your mouth.
Life's just kind of funny that way I guess.
But, hey, I did make a resolution of non-resolution in which I decided to love all of the stupid, f'ed up things I will inevitably do over the year. I'm going to take a wild guess and figure that means accepting bad word choices and "oops" after certain situations..
But other than my incoherent mumblings about needing to put your foot in your mouth I should really get to a point in this blog.
Except I don't think I have one.
(Do I ever?)

Today is just one of those days where you feel the need to vent out all of your feelings, but you feelings are kinda stupid so you just make do with talking about off the wall random things (which is what I'm doing right now in case you haven't noticed).

Ever just want to rip your heart out before anyone else can get the chance? You know, to save everyone else the trouble? I think it would be the worlds biggest time saver, and that way the blame can totally just be on you and you can wallow in self-pity! Pretty clever, eh?
Now how does one go about ripping out their own heart?
This feels like a Google moment.

Happy heart ripping<3

A Title For My Rant and a Cookie For My Effort

I want everything I can't have. If I get it then I don't want it anymore, because whats the fun in that? Thoughts can't have pretty little perfect thought patterns that fit into a quota that you have to fill for the day. They come and they go, like mistakes that leave you blushing.
Don't you hate it when you remember something that happened to you years and years ago but still to this day you blush when you think about it. I try to tell myself that there is no point in worrying over things you can't change but it doesn't stop the feeling. Then there's those times when something sticks out in your memory so bad, almost scaring you for life or something but the other person involved doesn't remember a damn thing. But you can't complain because it happens to you all the time.
I feel like I forget things way to easily. Someone told me that there's a chemical in Shampoo that makes you forget stuff at an unnatural rate, but I'm not sure. I only seem to forget the things that pop into my head and I think I don't have to write them down but really I do because I can never remember them later. Then you have to retrace your steps to see if you can think about the same thing you were before so as to jog your memory.
Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. Like life, or trying new things. I hate trying new things because I'm always so damn afraid of messing up. Of being the only one who doesn't understand what's going on. So I never to first but I don't mind going second, then once i see how easy it is/was I wish that I had gone first.
But there I go again, wishing for things that I can't have or won't do.
And thinking about things that I can't change.
Maybe that's a pessimistic way of looking at things, but unless I get a body swap machine or a time machine I don't think I'll be doing things any differently soon.

I'm tempted to delete this because I think I'll read it later and be like "what the hell?" but who cares. If I can't do whatever I want on a page that no one I go to school with or who sees me on a regular bases reads, then when can I do what I want. And what's the point of being your own person if all you do is worry about how other people perceive you?

Maple Festival

So last weekend (or would it be considered this weekend???) I went with my mom, grandmother, aunt, cousin, and a friend of mine for a girls weekend out.
My mom, gma, friend, and I all stayed at this quaint little cabin that my gma owns (maybe rents? whatever...)
This cabin has no electricity. or water. or anything else. Now why on this planet earth would someone build a house and not put electricity in it? Hell, scratch that, why wouldn't they at least but a bathroom in there? The whole weekend I got stuck using the outhouse for my facilities.
It's smelly and that dark hole that you (what's the proper word here-use?) kept freaking me out because for some reason I kept imagining some animal coming out and biting my butt. Needless to say using the bathroom wasn't very fun...

On the plus side I got to see my friend swing into a freezing cold creek/river on accident. I managed to record this, I'll post the vid. down at the bottom for all to see, and it might look like she is getting hurt, but I promise that the only thing that happened was she smashed her pinkey finger. Oh! and I got some really cute jewelry from the festival that was going on at the time, for a good price too.
Yay for girls weekend's out! :)