Okay, so maybe I was a little hasty with my last post. It seems I'm always learning new things, and every new thing I learn contradicts whatever I knew before.
Because things are always strange in the beginning. The first time you try anything new out you're not going to master it. Sure, things aren't storybook perfect, but occasionally it all works out.
And if it doesn't then you have a very awkward, but if you can manage it, funny moment to laugh about.
If you can't manage it maybe you're socially challenged, and you should work on that.
----
In other words, I'm officially an adult now. My happy-happy 18th was just a few days ago. For some reason I thought 18 would go off like a "bang" but mine was more of a "pop" (video below) and relatively uneventful.
It's always interesting to see what random people will write Happy Birthday to you on Facebook, however. I'll openly admit that 60% of the people I have on there, I do NOT write them happy birthdays. I suppose I should, I mean let's be honest, it's not like it takes a lot of effort. I just don't want these people to be under the impression that I have them on there for any reason other than I like to creep. I lead a drama free life (which I enjoy) but that doesn't mean I can't take pleasure in other people's issues, right? Right.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Saturday, September 10, 2011
The Movies Got it Wrong
I finally remembered what I forgot to talk about last time! Sexual awkwardness. No, not sexual awareness, sexual awkwardness.
You know what I mean, that tension that exists only in the real world that everyone FAILS TO MENTION. In books or movies everything love related happens magically, even the so called "awkward" moments aren't on the money. Because, apparently, real tension is just kind of hard to catch and plan out for a camera.
I'm not ashamed to say I'm pretty inexperienced for my age, I'm by no means a prude or even ugly, I just don't seem to get much in the guy department. The ones that like me usually fall a little...er, short.
But now I'm in a new lovely little relationship in which I'm experiencing a whole new world of difficulty. If you think that simply GETTING the guy is the hard part, then please, think again.
Because for some reason the strangeness of the first kiss always gets left out in every story ever told in history.
Books and movies have covered the whole "how far should we go" section, but they have completely left out the "wow these movie seat chairs aren't half as comfortable as they look and when we hold hands like this it cuts off my circulation so I'm a little bit of a loss right now" chapter.
Allow me to mention a few more pieces of this so-called-romance puzzle they left out:
-that strange restaurant you choose is giving my stomach the rumblies
-wow, you're way taller than I am, and holding hands kinda sucks.
-wow, there is actually a wrong way to hold hands, and wouldn't you know, that's the way I do it.
-my parents aren't home...why aren't my parents home?!
-hell yes, my parents aren't home! Wait...is this a set up?
-They aren't home again? Well come on in...and....sit down..or eat. How about kissing? Just kissing? Okay then.. And damn it stop touching their knick-knacks.
-Ew, you just burped and I'm reminded of how gross guys are.
-There should be a whole entire chapter just on how to bite the damn lower-lip.
-why do I seem more into this than you? I'm the girl, shouldn't this be in reverse? Now I feel pushy, thanks.
-This movie is talking about sex. Awkward.
-This movie is talking about abortion. Awkward.
-This movie is talking about penises and/or vaginas. Awkward.
-And when I say "this movie is talking" I mean they're showing. Graphically.
-So maybe we should just not watch a movie
-bowling? skating? walking? talking? swimming? driving? shopping?
-Your arm is cutting off my airway
-I've never seen a penis in person before, don't be alarmed if I faint the first time we go there.
-Let's just never go there.
-Wait, I want to go there.
-Just not at this very minute
Obviously, it's all a little harder than it looks. I'm sure it get's easier as time get's on, and trust me I think it's worth it. I just think people should be aware that it's not just "a kiss" it's a mouth to mouth, nose to nose, I tilt one way you go the other, let's not bump teeth or make any off-putting slurping noises so that we can enjoy ourselves kind of situation. Nothing's ever easy, unfortunately this seems to fall into that category. It can be funny, it can be cute, it can be down right annoying.
You know what I mean, that tension that exists only in the real world that everyone FAILS TO MENTION. In books or movies everything love related happens magically, even the so called "awkward" moments aren't on the money. Because, apparently, real tension is just kind of hard to catch and plan out for a camera.
I'm not ashamed to say I'm pretty inexperienced for my age, I'm by no means a prude or even ugly, I just don't seem to get much in the guy department. The ones that like me usually fall a little...er, short.
But now I'm in a new lovely little relationship in which I'm experiencing a whole new world of difficulty. If you think that simply GETTING the guy is the hard part, then please, think again.
Because for some reason the strangeness of the first kiss always gets left out in every story ever told in history.
Books and movies have covered the whole "how far should we go" section, but they have completely left out the "wow these movie seat chairs aren't half as comfortable as they look and when we hold hands like this it cuts off my circulation so I'm a little bit of a loss right now" chapter.
Allow me to mention a few more pieces of this so-called-romance puzzle they left out:
-that strange restaurant you choose is giving my stomach the rumblies
-wow, you're way taller than I am, and holding hands kinda sucks.
-wow, there is actually a wrong way to hold hands, and wouldn't you know, that's the way I do it.
-my parents aren't home...why aren't my parents home?!
-hell yes, my parents aren't home! Wait...is this a set up?
-They aren't home again? Well come on in...and....sit down..or eat. How about kissing? Just kissing? Okay then.. And damn it stop touching their knick-knacks.
-Ew, you just burped and I'm reminded of how gross guys are.
-There should be a whole entire chapter just on how to bite the damn lower-lip.
-why do I seem more into this than you? I'm the girl, shouldn't this be in reverse? Now I feel pushy, thanks.
-This movie is talking about sex. Awkward.
-This movie is talking about abortion. Awkward.
-This movie is talking about penises and/or vaginas. Awkward.
-And when I say "this movie is talking" I mean they're showing. Graphically.
-So maybe we should just not watch a movie
-bowling? skating? walking? talking? swimming? driving? shopping?
-Your arm is cutting off my airway
-I've never seen a penis in person before, don't be alarmed if I faint the first time we go there.
-Let's just never go there.
-Wait, I want to go there.
-Just not at this very minute
Obviously, it's all a little harder than it looks. I'm sure it get's easier as time get's on, and trust me I think it's worth it. I just think people should be aware that it's not just "a kiss" it's a mouth to mouth, nose to nose, I tilt one way you go the other, let's not bump teeth or make any off-putting slurping noises so that we can enjoy ourselves kind of situation. Nothing's ever easy, unfortunately this seems to fall into that category. It can be funny, it can be cute, it can be down right annoying.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Only to twenty
I like to think I'm at least slightly quick witted. I like to joke around, and sometimes I think of things that are so funny I even surprise myself. Why, then, is my memory so atrocious?
Throughout the day I think of interesting things that I would like to share my views and thoughts on, but when I come home and actually have the ability to blog about them, these things are gone. Poof.
So I'm just going to toss out some random questions that have been bouncing around in my head for a while (the ones I can remember anyways) and hope that my creative flow will stop being such a bitch.
1. What is the point of being clingy? It's not fun to experience, and it's not even all that great to watch.
2. Does spiderman have any other superpowers other than acrobatics and sticky webs?
3. How come teachers hand out assignments faster than they can grade them?
4. What's with books and movies making love look so easy? It's false advertising. Especially the sex parts.
5. Why is talking and/or singing into a turned on fan better than my ipod?
6. Who makes the red bows used to put on brand new cars?
7. Who invented scissors, and what was the first thing they cut?
8. Ever wonder is ancient Egypt smelled like cat pee?
9. When you think about it, the word "sweatshirt" is actually very nasty.
10. I'd love to see the face of the fist person who put aluminum foil or a fork in the microwave.
11. Ever think there are colors out there that we've never seen before? Let your mind think about that one for a second.
12. What five letter word is shorter when you add two letters to it?
13. We still make bonfires...didn't cave men do that?
14. Still no creative juices.
15. FLOW JUICES FLOW.
16. I knew that one sounded wrong, but I put it on here anyway.
17. Just for one day, and one day only, I want to be ghetto fabulous.
18. Hell, I'm not even asking questions anymore, am I?
19. It's no wonder no one reads or comments on my blog.
Throughout the day I think of interesting things that I would like to share my views and thoughts on, but when I come home and actually have the ability to blog about them, these things are gone. Poof.
So I'm just going to toss out some random questions that have been bouncing around in my head for a while (the ones I can remember anyways) and hope that my creative flow will stop being such a bitch.
1. What is the point of being clingy? It's not fun to experience, and it's not even all that great to watch.
2. Does spiderman have any other superpowers other than acrobatics and sticky webs?
3. How come teachers hand out assignments faster than they can grade them?
4. What's with books and movies making love look so easy? It's false advertising. Especially the sex parts.
5. Why is talking and/or singing into a turned on fan better than my ipod?
6. Who makes the red bows used to put on brand new cars?
7. Who invented scissors, and what was the first thing they cut?
8. Ever wonder is ancient Egypt smelled like cat pee?
9. When you think about it, the word "sweatshirt" is actually very nasty.
10. I'd love to see the face of the fist person who put aluminum foil or a fork in the microwave.
11. Ever think there are colors out there that we've never seen before? Let your mind think about that one for a second.
12. What five letter word is shorter when you add two letters to it?
13. We still make bonfires...didn't cave men do that?
14. Still no creative juices.
15. FLOW JUICES FLOW.
16. I knew that one sounded wrong, but I put it on here anyway.
17. Just for one day, and one day only, I want to be ghetto fabulous.
18. Hell, I'm not even asking questions anymore, am I?
19. It's no wonder no one reads or comments on my blog.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Fair Weather
I like to forgive and forget
To a point of sin
A failure of character that tends to win
All of my best judgement
I care and I quip a quick antidote
So that you never choke
On self pity and resentment
Tiring, isn't it?
Only you don't seem to know
You don't have a clue
What a convenience
When someone needs you
Forgive and forget?
That's used up bullshit
From the king of crap
And the yearly quota is full
So I take it all back
Every smile, trick, and call
You seem to have bought up all
My honest sympathys
But, whoops, I forgot
You don't give a damn
Found better friends in every "Tom, Dick, and Sam"
So take your talk to the bottle
And drink it all up
Until it all falls through
That "sturdy" paper-cup
You call your life.
And then at the end,
My fair weather friend,
you can pack up and leave,
Say you gave it your best
While puffing out your chest
Where that ego resides.
Maybe even give me a call
To say you're doing well,
I'll reply "damn boy, that's great!"
And so overrated,
Because this sob story's outdated
When you never seem to change (for the better).
To a point of sin
A failure of character that tends to win
All of my best judgement
I care and I quip a quick antidote
So that you never choke
On self pity and resentment
Tiring, isn't it?
Only you don't seem to know
You don't have a clue
What a convenience
When someone needs you
Forgive and forget?
That's used up bullshit
From the king of crap
And the yearly quota is full
So I take it all back
Every smile, trick, and call
You seem to have bought up all
My honest sympathys
But, whoops, I forgot
You don't give a damn
Found better friends in every "Tom, Dick, and Sam"
So take your talk to the bottle
And drink it all up
Until it all falls through
That "sturdy" paper-cup
You call your life.
And then at the end,
My fair weather friend,
you can pack up and leave,
Say you gave it your best
While puffing out your chest
Where that ego resides.
Maybe even give me a call
To say you're doing well,
I'll reply "damn boy, that's great!"
And so overrated,
Because this sob story's outdated
When you never seem to change (for the better).
Saturday, June 25, 2011
The Face
This girl is a genius who is giving everyone a life tool that should be used at least once (even if it's just for fun).
Meet Jenna Marbles, and her face.
Meet Jenna Marbles, and her face.
Mopey McMope Pants
It's long past time for me to hop off of the self pity train. I'm sick of it, and I'm sure everyone else is as well. Sometimes life sucks, sometimes things can't always go my way 'wah, wah, wah.'
There comes a time when you finally have to throw up your hands, scream in frustration and give up. Then you walk away, and you don't look back. It's hard, but it's really not that complicated.
You just have to say no.
So that's what I've been struggling with lately, giving up and saying no. Funny how for some people that comes naturally, and easily. Where as for me I have to pry my cold, dead fingers out of their death clutch to whatever they're holding on to. Things have to get so bad that I just can't handle any more. So then I have to get rid of everything that reminds me of the event, and anything that would tempt me into going back. I'm like a junkie, on a twelve step program, that can't risk another relapse.
Which makes me happy I'm not actually addicted to anything, because I do believe I would have a very hard time giving up, and saying no.
So other than being Mopey McMope Pants and watching every available episode of Psych on Netflix, my summer has been relatively nice. I'm stuck at my house to often for my taste, and I do believe I've become nocturnal. I'm also in very bad need of a curtain (so that the sun doesn't shine in my face and wake me up EVERY MORNING at EIGHT O' CLOCK). Also, I've discovered that when dipped in milk, I can eat ten or more Oreo cookies. Thus, there have been many cookie shortages in my house recently.
Happy Summer, All. Eat some cookies, and try not to mope for me;)
There comes a time when you finally have to throw up your hands, scream in frustration and give up. Then you walk away, and you don't look back. It's hard, but it's really not that complicated.
You just have to say no.
So that's what I've been struggling with lately, giving up and saying no. Funny how for some people that comes naturally, and easily. Where as for me I have to pry my cold, dead fingers out of their death clutch to whatever they're holding on to. Things have to get so bad that I just can't handle any more. So then I have to get rid of everything that reminds me of the event, and anything that would tempt me into going back. I'm like a junkie, on a twelve step program, that can't risk another relapse.
Which makes me happy I'm not actually addicted to anything, because I do believe I would have a very hard time giving up, and saying no.
So other than being Mopey McMope Pants and watching every available episode of Psych on Netflix, my summer has been relatively nice. I'm stuck at my house to often for my taste, and I do believe I've become nocturnal. I'm also in very bad need of a curtain (so that the sun doesn't shine in my face and wake me up EVERY MORNING at EIGHT O' CLOCK). Also, I've discovered that when dipped in milk, I can eat ten or more Oreo cookies. Thus, there have been many cookie shortages in my house recently.
Happy Summer, All. Eat some cookies, and try not to mope for me;)
Sunday, May 29, 2011
It Will Remain Unknown
I know I'm not alone
In this situation
This step-back
No appreciation
For beauty
Or art
Of how to win a girl's heart
I can't be alone
To this situation
Where I'm told whats right
But it's all wrong
And liars sing
The sweetest songs
Promise I'm not alone
In this situation
Of constant frustration
With falsities and niceties
And it's all just a power trip
They only want to see you strip
But say I'm not alone
In truth I never get that far
A blessing disguised?
Or maybe I'm just despised?
Maybe it's just the guys
I choose.
Or maybe I'm not right
Fighting tooth and nail
To get nailed
To be needed
I want to be treated
Like a girlfriend
(Just to see how it feels)
I'm not out for pity
Or fishing for dates
Just say I'm not alone
Or instill me with a faith
Trust me with the truth
These lips don't want to talk
(And they're used to being alone)
Curiosity can't helps but partake
In why they've never had a home
There's enough theories
To walk the world and back
But here is the fact:
It will remain unknown
Just why I remain alone.
In this situation
This step-back
No appreciation
For beauty
Or art
Of how to win a girl's heart
I can't be alone
To this situation
Where I'm told whats right
But it's all wrong
And liars sing
The sweetest songs
Promise I'm not alone
In this situation
Of constant frustration
With falsities and niceties
And it's all just a power trip
They only want to see you strip
But say I'm not alone
In truth I never get that far
A blessing disguised?
Or maybe I'm just despised?
Maybe it's just the guys
I choose.
Or maybe I'm not right
Fighting tooth and nail
To get nailed
To be needed
I want to be treated
Like a girlfriend
(Just to see how it feels)
I'm not out for pity
Or fishing for dates
Just say I'm not alone
Or instill me with a faith
Trust me with the truth
These lips don't want to talk
(And they're used to being alone)
Curiosity can't helps but partake
In why they've never had a home
There's enough theories
To walk the world and back
But here is the fact:
It will remain unknown
Just why I remain alone.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Seven Year Itch
Kill me. Please? Because I'm being stupid little dumb girl again, I can feel it in my bones. I'm Ms. Please-Give-Me-Your-Lame-Ass-Excuses-To-Swallow girl. Because I want to see the best in everyone, so I'll ignore the bad things and just pretend like nothing is going on.
This obviously gets me into lots of trouble.
So go ahead and teach me a lesson before I re-teach it to myself.
If I could learn to say "no" or listen to my gut, and fuck how everyone else feels, then I would less friends, but also a lot less mistakes. I let people walk all over me and lie to me for the benefit of themselves.
Good Lord I would be a horrible mother. I'd be the clueless one going "my child lit your house on fire? Sweet little Tommy wouldn't do that!" when really sweet little Tommy is a fucking demon child.
It's two thirty in the morning, I'm dead tired, and instead of drifting off into dream land (actually I'm kind of doing that as well) I'm awake and thinking about how many ways this could all blow up right in my face.
If I listened to my alter ego my next conversation with you would probably start a little something like this:
Me: I don't exactly why you're wasting your time on me again, but don't think I don't see what a loser you are and have always been.
I would put his reply, but planned talks with him never go the way I expect, so why waste my time.
Oh wait, I already am just by thinking/talking/writing about him.
See how bad this road is already going?
I'm okay though, all I have to do is just remember all of the horrible, stupid things he did/said to me. And then the things I wrote to him but didn't send because they were so mean it was hard to believe I even wrote them.
Just breathe, girl.
You've got this.
This obviously gets me into lots of trouble.
So go ahead and teach me a lesson before I re-teach it to myself.
If I could learn to say "no" or listen to my gut, and fuck how everyone else feels, then I would less friends, but also a lot less mistakes. I let people walk all over me and lie to me for the benefit of themselves.
Good Lord I would be a horrible mother. I'd be the clueless one going "my child lit your house on fire? Sweet little Tommy wouldn't do that!" when really sweet little Tommy is a fucking demon child.
It's two thirty in the morning, I'm dead tired, and instead of drifting off into dream land (actually I'm kind of doing that as well) I'm awake and thinking about how many ways this could all blow up right in my face.
If I listened to my alter ego my next conversation with you would probably start a little something like this:
Me: I don't exactly why you're wasting your time on me again, but don't think I don't see what a loser you are and have always been.
I would put his reply, but planned talks with him never go the way I expect, so why waste my time.
Oh wait, I already am just by thinking/talking/writing about him.
See how bad this road is already going?
I'm okay though, all I have to do is just remember all of the horrible, stupid things he did/said to me. And then the things I wrote to him but didn't send because they were so mean it was hard to believe I even wrote them.
Just breathe, girl.
You've got this.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Beauty Queen
Last night I competed in a pageant, which, let me tell you, is not normally my thing. I've done plays, harmony (show choir), and skits. I've walked across it many times, but never in a floofy dress with four judges monitoring how I walk.
So you can imagine my surprise when I got first runner up!
(Or, if you are a boy, I got second place. I just think the other one sounds much better...)
So now I'll actually be free in the afternoons to do as I please! Except I have no idea what that is, so now I'm here writing a blog. Isn't that nice? I have been busying myself so much lately that I forgot what it felt like to enjoy a nice evening alone with no issues.
Because besides this pageant I've had harmony practices after school, school trips, I was student of the month, I tried to give blood, I participated in a basketball tournament, I helped with the Special Olympics, and now finals are coming up. Please just try and tell me that I'm not freaking busy.
confession for the day:
I had no idea until I participated in one that pageant was spelled that way...I (and all of my friends when they text me) always spelled it pagent. That "a" in there is just annoying.
So you can imagine my surprise when I got first runner up!
(Or, if you are a boy, I got second place. I just think the other one sounds much better...)
So now I'll actually be free in the afternoons to do as I please! Except I have no idea what that is, so now I'm here writing a blog. Isn't that nice? I have been busying myself so much lately that I forgot what it felt like to enjoy a nice evening alone with no issues.
Because besides this pageant I've had harmony practices after school, school trips, I was student of the month, I tried to give blood, I participated in a basketball tournament, I helped with the Special Olympics, and now finals are coming up. Please just try and tell me that I'm not freaking busy.
confession for the day:
I had no idea until I participated in one that pageant was spelled that way...I (and all of my friends when they text me) always spelled it pagent. That "a" in there is just annoying.
Friday, April 29, 2011
name game
Does anyone else have an issue with dating someone with a certain letter starting that person's first name? My letter is J. I have been with/talked to five and a half J names and they have all been horrible.
I say "and a half' because the guy I'm talking to now has a J name but he hasn't broken my heart.
And I doubt he'll get a chance to due to his reputation of being a total dog. I'm going to give him a chance tomorrow, but if we don't hit it off, then bye bye.
Plus I'm also still hung up on the last guy I talked to (who also has a J name). I actually told my "ex" that (I was still hung up on him). Wrong move? Most likely.
I keep saying certain "shocking" things and expecting a certain reaction, but he never gives me the one I want.
Whatever.
Fuck J names, you are all bad. Verry, very, bad. For me at least.
confession for the day?
I might have been drinking a little before I wrote this...
I say "and a half' because the guy I'm talking to now has a J name but he hasn't broken my heart.
And I doubt he'll get a chance to due to his reputation of being a total dog. I'm going to give him a chance tomorrow, but if we don't hit it off, then bye bye.
Plus I'm also still hung up on the last guy I talked to (who also has a J name). I actually told my "ex" that (I was still hung up on him). Wrong move? Most likely.
I keep saying certain "shocking" things and expecting a certain reaction, but he never gives me the one I want.
Whatever.
Fuck J names, you are all bad. Verry, very, bad. For me at least.
confession for the day?
I might have been drinking a little before I wrote this...
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