Kill me. Please? Because I'm being stupid little dumb girl again, I can feel it in my bones. I'm Ms. Please-Give-Me-Your-Lame-Ass-Excuses-To-Swallow girl. Because I want to see the best in everyone, so I'll ignore the bad things and just pretend like nothing is going on.
This obviously gets me into lots of trouble.
So go ahead and teach me a lesson before I re-teach it to myself.
If I could learn to say "no" or listen to my gut, and fuck how everyone else feels, then I would less friends, but also a lot less mistakes. I let people walk all over me and lie to me for the benefit of themselves.
Good Lord I would be a horrible mother. I'd be the clueless one going "my child lit your house on fire? Sweet little Tommy wouldn't do that!" when really sweet little Tommy is a fucking demon child.
It's two thirty in the morning, I'm dead tired, and instead of drifting off into dream land (actually I'm kind of doing that as well) I'm awake and thinking about how many ways this could all blow up right in my face.
If I listened to my alter ego my next conversation with you would probably start a little something like this:
Me: I don't exactly why you're wasting your time on me again, but don't think I don't see what a loser you are and have always been.
I would put his reply, but planned talks with him never go the way I expect, so why waste my time.
Oh wait, I already am just by thinking/talking/writing about him.
See how bad this road is already going?
I'm okay though, all I have to do is just remember all of the horrible, stupid things he did/said to me. And then the things I wrote to him but didn't send because they were so mean it was hard to believe I even wrote them.
Just breathe, girl.
You've got this.
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