I read the last three things I'd posted and felt the need to punch myself in the face. The "no money no worries" was cute, a little all over the place, but funny, "girl of the summer" was my drinking game face, and "brokenhearted bitch" was just more like wining bitch.
Why does the prospect of being in a relationship or having any sort of romance turn me into a complete asshat? It's like I constantly need to make a fool out of myself or something! I don't know why I can't be like one of those cool Angelina Jolie characters who never gives a fuck and doesn't feel the need to over share any emotions. I suppose that has something to do with my genetics or the childhood trauma of growing up, but I don't know how anyone else can bear to listen to me when I can't even listen to myself.
The way I see it I have two options.
I can make flow charts and pro's and con's and write until I have carpal tunnel in my wrist to get my thoughts together and talk to this guy about where we stand and emotions and basically just a (hopefully) less wordy version of my last post.
Or I can tell him to move it or loose it and (most likely) cut my losses, get my shit together and find someone new in college.
Fucking A, I'll probably choose the first one.
This is why I never have a boyfriend. A guy seems me, he likes me, then he gets to know me and runs for the hills. I'm a fucking desperate housewife in the making.
don't ever blame yourself for being "overemotional". it's better to feel things than to make yourself turn into just another zombie. if being emotional turns people away, then you're turning away those who aren't worth it. you're not overemotional. you are HUMAN and you will find someone who is just as HUMAN as you :)
ReplyDeletecheers
Awl, thanks! I really appreciate that. I was in a bit of a mood this morning when I wrote all this & sometimes I do forget that I'm just human and I shouldn't hold myself to any impossible standards.
Delete:)