I want to share with everyone this little delight of a B movie that I found on Netflix thanks to some friends with an adventurous taste in films. Granted, this movie was most likely made 1,000 times better because I watched it with a group of friends who pointed out things in the background, made funny comments, and asked questions that I might not have thought of. Nevertheless, if you're bored on a Friday night & hanging out with some friends I suggest this movie.
It is, obviously, about a Hobo with a Shotgun. Now, if that title doesn't interest you at all then I guess shy away from it. But if you like funny quotes, fake blood, and righteous old man vigilantes who heal at unfathomable rates then this is for you.
Synopsis: A hobo gets of a train and goes into a town that is run by a family & it's crooked cops. Seeing people pulled from the street and running over their heads with bumper cars is an average afternoon activity, along with rubbing your face in some cocaine with a few pals. After a few unfortunate encounters the hobo decides that the money he's saved would be put to it's best use by buying a shotgun (that magically has unending ammo, by the way) and proceeds to take down the bullies of the town.
I won't spoil any more for you, you'll just have to watch.
And if that seat-gripping synopsis wasn't enough, here are a few quotes to light the fire I know you have under your ass to watch this movie:
"When life gives you razor blades, you make a baseball bat...with razor blades."
"Put the knife away kid...or I'll use it to cut welfare checks from your rotten skin!"
(In Response): "Well you better cut one to Mother Theresa, so you can give it to her while she's finger-banging you in hell!"
"Go the fuck home everybody! And don't forget to wash your dicks!"
"They are going to make comics out of my hate-crimes!"
"You look so hot, I just want to cut off my dick and rub it against your titties."
These are just a few from IMDB (I made the mistake of not writing them down while watching the movie-how was I to know it was going to be so quotable?)
So if you end up watching it, let me know what you think & your favorite quote!
Showing posts with label quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label quotes. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Friday, December 21, 2012
Is Quoting Myself Narcissistic?
It's pretty hard to be funny in writing, especially for me. When I make people laugh it's usually because I'm making a face/hand motion/action to go along with my words. I also find it very hard to be funny on cue (which is yet another challenge of writing it all out), so if you find me funny from reading my blog, you're a beautiful angel who deserves an award.
Luckily for me, I have an awesome roommate who quotes me a good bit on twitter. So I thought I'd do a quick little list of my favorite things I've said that she quoted me on (in order of least favorite to favorite). Hopefully you'll get a taste of my sense of humor with words instead of writing for a change.
14. Hips are to thighs as jelly is to jello.
13. What if I put it on a t-shirt? Would it still be depressing?
12. He looks like he just came out of uterus! He should NOT be holding a baby.
11. That's why Soprano singers get all the D.
10. I would not pop out a baby, I would pop out a brick. It would not be pretty.
9. ...which means I know where the SPCA is and I can go and pet fucking kittens! (Me on going home for a weekend).
8. My Friend: "Like a good neighbor state farm is there." Me: "with an abortion kit!"
7. (in response to the previous one) I saw your mouth drop and I thought, oh no, I went to far.
6. Who would pick a child when you can have a dog?
5. He's wearing a mop on his head...except it's his hair.
4. I mean if someone spent the money on the alcohol, and then spent the money on the rufies, they'd hang on to that shit. (me on drinking mysterious alcohol found under bushes).
3. That's what's wrong with him; he's a smirker. I don't like smirkers. (My take on Mitt Romney).
2. I have such pussy hands. I got a blister from sharpening pencils once.
1. It was like someone stuck a cotton ball in my mouth...and then a fart. (Me on grapefruit).
You're welcome to follow me on twitter (although I'm no funnier there than I am here, promise): https://twitter.com/delrue77
Luckily for me, I have an awesome roommate who quotes me a good bit on twitter. So I thought I'd do a quick little list of my favorite things I've said that she quoted me on (in order of least favorite to favorite). Hopefully you'll get a taste of my sense of humor with words instead of writing for a change.
14. Hips are to thighs as jelly is to jello.
13. What if I put it on a t-shirt? Would it still be depressing?
12. He looks like he just came out of uterus! He should NOT be holding a baby.
11. That's why Soprano singers get all the D.
10. I would not pop out a baby, I would pop out a brick. It would not be pretty.
9. ...which means I know where the SPCA is and I can go and pet fucking kittens! (Me on going home for a weekend).
8. My Friend: "Like a good neighbor state farm is there." Me: "with an abortion kit!"
7. (in response to the previous one) I saw your mouth drop and I thought, oh no, I went to far.
6. Who would pick a child when you can have a dog?
5. He's wearing a mop on his head...except it's his hair.
4. I mean if someone spent the money on the alcohol, and then spent the money on the rufies, they'd hang on to that shit. (me on drinking mysterious alcohol found under bushes).
3. That's what's wrong with him; he's a smirker. I don't like smirkers. (My take on Mitt Romney).
2. I have such pussy hands. I got a blister from sharpening pencils once.
1. It was like someone stuck a cotton ball in my mouth...and then a fart. (Me on grapefruit).
You're welcome to follow me on twitter (although I'm no funnier there than I am here, promise): https://twitter.com/delrue77
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