It's pretty hard to be funny in writing, especially for me. When I make people laugh it's usually because I'm making a face/hand motion/action to go along with my words. I also find it very hard to be funny on cue (which is yet another challenge of writing it all out), so if you find me funny from reading my blog, you're a beautiful angel who deserves an award.
Luckily for me, I have an awesome roommate who quotes me a good bit on twitter. So I thought I'd do a quick little list of my favorite things I've said that she quoted me on (in order of least favorite to favorite). Hopefully you'll get a taste of my sense of humor with words instead of writing for a change.
14. Hips are to thighs as jelly is to jello.
13. What if I put it on a t-shirt? Would it still be depressing?
12. He looks like he just came out of uterus! He should NOT be holding a baby.
11. That's why Soprano singers get all the D.
10. I would not pop out a baby, I would pop out a brick. It would not be pretty.
9. ...which means I know where the SPCA is and I can go and pet fucking kittens! (Me on going home for a weekend).
8. My Friend: "Like a good neighbor state farm is there." Me: "with an abortion kit!"
7. (in response to the previous one) I saw your mouth drop and I thought, oh no, I went to far.
6. Who would pick a child when you can have a dog?
5. He's wearing a mop on his head...except it's his hair.
4. I mean if someone spent the money on the alcohol, and then spent the money on the rufies, they'd hang on to that shit. (me on drinking mysterious alcohol found under bushes).
3. That's what's wrong with him; he's a smirker. I don't like smirkers. (My take on Mitt Romney).
2. I have such pussy hands. I got a blister from sharpening pencils once.
1. It was like someone stuck a cotton ball in my mouth...and then a fart. (Me on grapefruit).
You're welcome to follow me on twitter (although I'm no funnier there than I am here, promise): https://twitter.com/delrue77
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