Somewhere between packing for college and putting together my dorm room I lost myself.
I'm determined to find me again.
I think the biggest sign of this loss is my choice of clothing. I used to be up to date (in my own middle-of-nowhere way) and I would enjoy putting together clothes. I loved finding new things in the store, and most of all I loved turning something I already owned into something completely different. For example scarves become headbands, socks become leg warmers or things to make a bun out of.
I can't seem to do these things anymore and I'm not sure why. I've become the girl who wears jeans and a t-shirt every day, all day. Then I would become convinced that other girls that would wear just jeans and a t-shirt were wearing it much better than me.
A loss of confidence perhaps?
Maybe it's because my entire group of friends split and went different ways?
It could be something as simple as my closest is now split between home and school and it's causing the fashion version of writers block.
I'm determined to change this. I'm planning on getting a job, saving up money, and spending the leftovers on things that will make me feel good again.
I got good grades, but I think I just can't feel accomplished until I am able to provide for myself and not rely on others for things. Even my parents (who honestly can't afford to buy the nice kind of toilet paper right now--but that's a different story) can be no help when it comes to money.
It's not quite a new year's rez, but it'll do. For now anyway;)
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