The Rules of Existing

I'm in love with you.
I'm in love with you and you don't even care that I exist   I tried to be friends with benefits, I tried to be just friends, and now these dreams that I have of us...  They tell me that I still see you in my future.  I want so badly to hang on to you, because when you love someone you never want to give them up, but I've degraded myself for you so much already.
You don't even know and if you did you wouldn't care.  It hurts, it's so fucking painful and it makes me feel so lonely.  I feel like if I can't make you love me back, how can I ever expect to get it from someone else?
I would be anything you wanted me to be.  Older, younger, wilder, smarter.  I'd do anything for you and we don't even talk more than once a week anymore.
I need to keep contact with you, but I can't detach myself.  I thought I was okay, I didn't think being "just friends" would bother me.  You've made me your booty call, and part of me thinks that's fine!
I just don't want to be alone anymore, and I feel like you're the one person who should make that better, not worse.