The Crowd-Pleaser

If you look back to my posts from about a year ago you'll see where I was talking about a boy who was older than me and troublesome and I really went through a lot of heartache with him. I'm what I would call an overly-nice person, and needless to say, we are still friends. Our friendship is even a little better for it all. We've both hurt each other and then forgiven each other countless times, and it's nice to be on that kind of comfort level with someone.
Or so I thought.

When my boyfriend and I broke up he opened up and said that he was insanely jealous that I'd been with someone else and it had made him realize how much he liked me. I resisted, like a good little girl.
But once you've been "getting at it" for a few months and then suddenly it's taken away from you, loneliness sets in. All kinds of loneliness.
So I let him in, and finally made the strict restriction of friends with benefits. One bad relationship for the year was enough (and let's be honest here, I'm still all hung up on my ex).
AND THE MOTHERFUCKER CRIED.
I'm trying to be a crowd-pleaser here and do something that benefits everyone, and he's crying? This is during our Christmas gift exchange too.
Just to end this little story/rant my new resolve is to suck up my lonliness because now NO ONE will get what they want. Back to simply being friends it is, I no longer wish to deal with his silly nonsense.


Obviously, everything is swell.



Confession for the day: I'm extremely vindictive, and I'll put aside what I truly want, just to teach you what I believe is a useful lesson. If you think about it, I'm like a charming, vicious Saint.

A Continuous Forward Motion

Doubtful lovers loose sheets, minds, and covers
In a rushed scuffle to the edge of the bed
Where lipstick stains never wash out
And neither does a virgin's doubt

Evenings filled with lusty wine
Make kisses sloppy, but feelings feel fine
As stolen seconds of time looses sight
Hope on dove's wings begin to take flight

And the car's breaks are broken
We're in a continuous forward motion
So move over or get open
the one door that doesn't lock

To keep it alive you either suffer or thrive
because the heat of the sun isn't for this,
It's to bathe in the sound
Of that sweet steamy hiss
Broken hearts make when they're glued back together

The name of the game isn't to prosper or take
It's to build and rebuild
what alone you can't make

And I hope it's okay
If I start off in disarray
Because with me it’s the only way
For one foot to follow the other

Did I Call YOU Pathetic? My bad...

Having a bucket of ice water thrown on you in 30 degree weather is incomparable to the feeling you get after asking your ex if they want to hang out (for the second time) only to not only get rebuffed, but to get no answer at all. Then AFTER you've written him a message on Facebook explaining how spineless and pathetic he is and how much you hate him you realize....that his number changed and he has no idea that you sent that text or left that voice mail.

I'm sorry, did I say he was pathetic? I think I meant to say she, as in myself.

If life was a person, he would have a sick, sick, sense of humor. And it would no doubt be a him.